LIVING IN FEAR
Handling fear is as easy as 1-2-3!
So, you are afraid…
Hell, we all are afraid.
And here we sit in our fear.
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The fact is you must do something next. You always must do something next.
That is what being alive is. Doing something next. When you stop doing something next, you are – well – dead.
Which means you would not be reading this! ???? We’re alive!
Yay!
So far so good, right?
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The question is, “WHAT am I going to do next?” This is a constant question in our mind. Not always are we conscious of it…but it is still there. What am I going to do next?
Right here: HERE. çis the critical point.
And what about this next thing that, since I am alive, I must do? I must do something.
There are two avenues of answers to the question about What am I going to do next?
Avenue 1: What I do next will be done unconsciously, impulsively, habitually, or a copy of what I just did before. Drone. Zzzzzzzzz. Duhhhh.
Avenue 2: What I do next will happen by deliberate choice.
That word CHOICE is the keyword.
I can choose to continue doing what I just did (e.g., keep watching TV horror shows about the Corona virus, or continue watching mindless something or other on YouTube or TV, etc.) or I can choose a hundred other things to do…but at least I will be doing it consciously if I choose to do it.
There is nothing wrong with making a conscious choice to keep watching CNN. Or sleeping. Or watching Gilligan’s Island reruns. I can choose to do something that takes me out of my body for a while. I might need that.
How we drive ourselves into fear further is by NOT CHOOSING what we want to do next. Because it is too tempting to just drift into schlepping around, worrying, repeating our anxiety thoughts – and a real favorite: self-pity dialogues – inwardly by ourselves, or we sometimes recruiting others in person, by telephone, text, email, Skype, Facetime, etc. to help us build momentum towards total paralysis by anxiety and hopelessness.
That's it.
That’s as far as I go in building an argument for
Existence, based on choice-making VS. A non-choice-based auto-pilot existence
I mean people can still make deliberate dumb, self-destructive, stagnating choices. Of course! We do it all the time.
But, if you are unaware that you have a choice in what you do next if you don’t know you can make a different decision, well, then, much all is lost in terms of you being able to determine your future. Good luck on the Cannon Ball Express to _______.
But, let us not go there any longer.
Let’s begin with THIS notion: You definitely have a choice in what you are going to do next. You are with me on that, right?
That is the 2nd step.
What was the 1st step?
Being aware/awake about what you are currently doing! You are always doing something, even if you are sitting still. You are doing ‘sitting’. So 1st Step is waking up to the present moment. “What is going on? Oh, THIS [whatever] is going on!” E.g., “I am sitting here watching TV.”
Second step: Knowing you have a choice about what happens next.
That leaves us with the 3rd Step: WHAT shall we choose?
So, you are aware you are sitting watching TV. (1st Step)
You are aware you can choose to stay sitting there watching TV OR choose something else to do. (2nd Step)
Now, HERE (again ????)! What are we going to do next with that choice on what to do next?
Well, the first answer we must come up with is, “Shall I keep doing what I am doing?”
This is a huge moment.
Especially if you are sitting in fear, and you are doing things to make it WORSE. Fear is a monster. It has to be fed every few seconds or it goes away.
Are you feeding the Fear Monster? Are you stewing on the fear? Are you constantly watching the news about how awful things are getting? Are you talking to friends, “horribilizing” and “terribilizing” about what is going on. Are you letting yourself think about it over and over? THAT is how you feed the monster. Simple, eh?
Stop feeding the Fear Monster and it dies!
Next, we will talk more about WHAT to do next and, also, HOW to do that next thing effectively.
Meanwhile: Starve that monster out of your life NEXT.
Stay safe out there, Dear Ones!
Dr. DJ
Listen to this blog post on DoctorZestPodcasts! Living with Fear (and others!)
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